Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “It is the quality, not the length, of one’s life that is important.” But at 96, my aunt Mary Selby Ferrari is living proof that you can have both – a long and full life.
Ferrari is nothing if not resilient. She contracted COVID-19 in April 2020 – during the particularly fraught early stages of the pandemic – and while she spent 26 days in hospital, some of which she was only semi-conscious, she survived the illness unscathed. Her husband and most of her lifelong friends died years ago. Ferrari, meanwhile, still lives alone in the independent section of a retirement community. She drove her car until she was 80 years old.
“I’m enjoying life,” she told me. I have a nice little apartment and my daughter lives nearby.”
Being a lifelong student has given her purpose
Ferrari graduated from the College of New Rochelle (which has since closed) with a degree in English in 1950—a time when very few women were pursuing college degrees. Later, she went on to earn not one, but two graduate degrees.
Growing up, I always looked up to my aunt as a shining example of what it means to have a purpose, but until recently I didn’t think that maybe that purpose is the very reason why it continues to thrive today. Studies have found that people who can articulate their sense of purpose can live up to seven years longer than those who can’t, and, what’s more, they have a 15% lower risk of dying.
Having a creative outlet is essential
Ferrari began writing poetry at summer camp around the age of 10. It wasn’t until the 1960s that she devoted herself more seriously to her poetry, but it didn’t take long for her work to be noticed.
Mary Ferrari had her poetry published in several books. Courtesy of the author
By engaging your mind, creative hobbies double as mindfulness exercises—not to mention bring a lot of joy and happiness and even help relieve stress and process trauma.
Whole, nutrient-dense foods such as fish and fruit are the mainstays of her diet.
There’s no denying that diet plays a big role in longevity – and research has shown that the Mediterranean diet reduces the risk of cardiovascular disease.
While Ferrari doesn’t follow a specific diet, she does enjoy plenty of fish and fresh fruits and vegetables, all of which conform to the principles of the Mediterranean-style eating pattern.
“I don’t eat as many sweets as I would like,” she told me, laughing. After her doctor told her she was “borderline diabetic,” she “lost her taste” for sweets.
But she still enjoys eating out at restaurants with her children and grandchildren, preferring to focus on whole foods that are rich in essential nutrients.
Her faith keeps her grounded
When Ferrari expressed interest in attending college, her mother—my great-grandmother—had one condition: it had to be a Catholic school.
“I was an atheist at the time,” she told me.
But Ferrari was so determined to pursue a college education that he accepted to study at the College of New Rochelle. Before long, her interest in Christianity blossomed. To this day, she still attends Sunday Mass with her daughter and prays every night.
Longevity researcher Dan Buettner, who is widely recognized as the world’s Blue Zone expert, found that one thing many centenarians had in common was that they had a strong religious faith and belonged to a faith-based community—a factor that increased their lifespan by four. up to 14 years.
She hasn’t stopped moving
At the age of 91, Ferrari had a total left hip replacement. But that hasn’t stopped him from moving on. She enjoys going for walks — sometimes outdoors when the weather permits — and still attends physical therapy twice a week. She also regularly uses the NuStep exercise bike for a low-impact full body workout.
Ferrari often comes out to New York City to see shows. Courtesy of the author
Her efforts to stay physically active have paid off: When she recently traveled to Manhattan with her daughter to see a Broadway show, she was able to climb two flights of stairs — 30 steps — to get to the venue. her.
Her social life is rich and varied
In the longest-ever study of happiness, Harvard researchers found that being connected to friends, family and other people in your social circle was one of the biggest predictors of a long and happy life – even more than genes or social class. Having strong social ties can even delay physical and mental decline.
Ferrari is still in touch with one of her oldest friends from college, Barbara Cavalieri. Courtesy of the author
To that end, Ferrari makes it a point to meet other residents in her community for dinner. She also regularly spends time with her children and grandchildren.
She makes it a point to stay informed
“I was a big reader,” Ferrari told me. Reading may no longer be feasible due to the condition of her eyesight, but that hasn’t stopped her from staying on top of current events.
“Now, instead of reading, I listen,” she said.
For example, she likes to listen to MSNBC at night. Sometimes, in her retirement community, there are readings of The New York Times where she will sit, too.
And she hit the genetic jackpot
It would be impossible to talk about Ferrari’s long life without addressing her mother’s centenarian status. In fact, she lived to be 104 years old.
While we don’t know exactly which genes contribute to longevity, we do know that the children of people who live longer tend to stay healthy longer. It is estimated that approximately 25% of a person’s lifespan is determined by genetics – while the rest depends on other factors, such as diet, lifestyle, environment and stress management.